‘'It’s hard to describe coming out of a breakdown. There’s like a permanent dull ache and occasional stabs of real pain or fear. I can’t help smiling when I hear people say they’re depressed when what they mean is they’re a bit fed up. I do it myself sometimes. But there are not many things as deadening as real depression, when you feel unable to move a muscle and you’re incapable of getting out of bed, or speaking or thinking, or doing anything, and you can’t see a way forward'' Alastair Campbell, British journalist, broadcaster, and author.
I saw Alastair Campbell on Andrew Marr's weekend morning show in late 2008 just as his book had been released. The interview was a combination of self-promotion (''Read my new novel. Available at your nearest Waterstones...'' blah blah blah) and Marr's usual tell-me-all-the-gossip probes (''Is it true Tony Blair dyes his hair?'').
I had never known much, if anything, about Alastair Campbell's personal history. I only knew what I'd seen of his political persona. I learnt at the beginning of his interview with Marr that he had been suffering from depression for what he, in retrospect, deems to be most of his adult life. Amazing, I thought. How someone can be so apparently confident, successful and imperturbable yet suffer from such dark thoughts that, shortly after his resignation from Parliament in 2003, he was really quite unwell. Campbell also stated that large parts of All In the Mind were taken from his own experiences of alcohol abuse and rehabilitation, psychiatric treatment and the stigma surrounding mental illness. I knew this wasn't going to be an easy read, but was determined to do so nonetheless. I'm pleased I did.
All In the Mind's Professor Martin Sturrock is an honoured and greatly respected psychiatrist. He's also a bit wobbly. Convinced he suffers from thoughts just as dark as those of his troubled patients, Sturrock struggles between dispensing sound advice and fighting his own demons. Stuck in an unhappy marriage, duty-bound to an ungrateful mother and a clear disappointment to his only son, Sturrock finds himself thinking 'Where did it all go wrong?'. The novel follows a week in the lives of the professor and six of his patients. Being a notably brilliant psychiatrist, Sturrock becomes heavily involved with his patient's lives. He quite fancies one of them, allows another to crash on his sofa when they're being harangued by the paparazzi and crosses London to visit a patient at home when he receives a call from a mother worried her son has gone into the darkest of mental states. All the time, unbeknown to his family and patients, Sturrock considers if his life's worth living. Would his wife miss him? Would his children? He's not all that convinced they would.
Among Sturrock's patients are Emily, a once beautiful, confident girl but now a burns victim suffering from agoraphobia; David, a depressive whose homework assignment has a message for us all; Arta, a rape victim and refugee from Kosovo; Hatsatu, whose profession throws Sturrock's own moral values into confusion; and Matthew whose wife is convinced he's a sex addict. Autobiographically, there's also Ralph, Secretary of State, who Sturrock fails to help control his secret drinking.
Although at times I found myself skim reading, I don't think it's because I was bored or wanted it to be over. There are some lengthy paragraphs that don't feel all that necessary, but also some great prose which wonderfully describe the frantic, and often disconnected, thoughts everyone has when they’re troubled. I recommend this book if you've got inner demons you want to poke some fun at but not if you're feeling a bit unsure of yourself. It'll definitely make you think.
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